My mom died in September of 2005. I can remember the date because Tina and I were in Galveston at the time preparing to sail on the Rhapsody of the Seas in celebration of our 20th wedding anniversary. Last Friday, her only sibling--my aunt--died as well. The passing of Aunt Caroline brought back much of the sadness that I felt with my mom's home-going. And so, I approach this Mothers' Day with a bit of loneliness and with a longing for more time. I wish that there was more time to sit at the dining room table and talk over coffee. I wish that there was more time for hugs and for stories. My mom loved history and I wish that there was more time to stop and look at historic markers along the road. I wish that my mom could share more of my life with me, and I with her.
I'm learning that my mom was not quite as perfect as I remember her. My journey towards healing has revealed a darker side to my mom that I never knew--at least a side that I chose not to remember. That's ok now. Imperfections no longer scare me like they once did--we're all broken vessels healed by the grace of God. My mom did a great many things right. For starters, she loved me. She modeled for me what it looks like to love and to share one's life for a greater good. Much of my mom's life was spent in sacrificial service to the King--giving, suffering, and denying self....Heaven will be filled with friends who came understand the Gospel through my mom's loving imitation of Jesus. My mom loved coffee and my mom loved me! Someday...we'll have plenty of time...in the land of timeless eternity.
Sunday, May 08, 2011
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