It's Been a Bad Day . . .

"It's been a bad day. You've been looking back. And all you can see is everything you wish you could take back. All your mistakes. A world of regrets. All of those moments you would rather forget." --Matthew West, "History"

I really have grown to love Matthew West's music. It passionately speaks to my heart and expresses how I often feel about my own life. My wife, Tina gave me the "History" CD awhile back because she thought the lyrics would really speak to me. As usual she was right on! I could've written these songs (and then I would be on tour instead of writing about my bad day).

Yesterday was one of those devastating days that just never ends. Let me tell you a little bit about it. I got up late and had just enough time to make it to a 7am appointment at the local coffee shop where I was to meet with a really good friend. My friend (still is my friend) has left our church primarily because of the way that I handled an opportunity that his wife placed before me to purchase some insurance products. Evidently, I was a jerk (which I'm quite capable of) and I didn't say "no" quite graciously enough. This meeting was my attempt to save the friendship and ease my guilt (I'm a recovering "people-pleaser" and I feel really crummy (is that a word?) when people are unhappy with me). The meeting went very well and the friendship continues. Of course he shared all about his new church and how wonderful it is. Those of you that are pastors understand that to hear about the new church is like hearing about your spouses new lover. It's a sucker punch to the gut! I walked away from the coffee shop a little after eight feeling absolutely lousy. The friendship is saved--but even today I still feel pain.

The rest of the day was filled with busy appointments and unexpected drop-ins. I heard about some criticism (excuse me..."concerns") that a few individuals in our church are making about some new ventures we're moving forward on. Of course, I'm just hearing rumors--no one would actually come and share with me that they have "concerns". Lunch was skipped to finish work on budget proposals that needed to be submitted to our church Trustees. I found a spare hour sometime during the afternoon when I was actually able to shut the door and let the Father love me for a while. God reminded me in Psalm 78 of his care and for my need to trust Him no matter the circumstances.

Did I mention that we're in the process of moving into a new house? We're about 91% moved which means that I don't really know where I live right now. Now, let me take a moment to share with you how really wonderful my church is. The fact that we're moving is a result of how loving Cornerstone is. After 20+ years in the ministry, I can tell you that there is no greater church on the planet than the church that I'm serving right now! The church has just purchased for us what can only be described as the nicest house that I have ever lived in. I love my church and they obviously love me too! Anyway, I spent some time at the old house about four in the afternoon helping my son look for his baseball uniform only to discover that it is at the new house across town.

I coach my youngest son's baseball team and we have a stellar 1-6 record. The majority of our losses have come by less than 2 points. We're a much better team than our record indicates. Well, you probably can see this one coming . . . after two hours of play we're in the bottom of the last inning defending a two run lead. Yep . . . we lose by one! The boys are crushed! I do my best to pick them back up, afterall, we play again on Thursday. My presence at the game meant my absence at an important Trustee meeting (I sent the youth pastor in my place).

As I'm pulling into my driveway (the new one), my cell phone rings and the youth pastor shares with me that the Trustees are standing in my front yard (the old one) wanting to walk through the house to see what we need to upgrade for the youth pastor to be able to move in. "Could I come over and let them in?" Let me remind you that we are about 91% moved--meaning--the house is a wreck! We have garage sale left-overs still in the garage. The remnants of my boy's last "Clash of the Titans" is still left cluttered in the back yard. Piles of various "throw-aways" vs "keeps" are still scattered throughout the house. My dirty laundry is piled in the basement awaiting closure. Well--so much for pride! Exhausted I head over and show them the house and lay down what's left of my esteem. An hour and a half later I pull into my driveway (the new one) and sit down to my reheated dinner at 9:53pm. I've had a bad day!

And so this morning . . . I am listening to Matthew West sing "It's been a bad day . . . " And with tears on my cheeks and joy in my heart I sing along with Matthew on the chorus, "Yesterday is history. And history is miles away. So, leave it all behind you. But let it always remind you of the day. The day that love made history."

You can check out Matthew West's website and hear some song samples from "History" here.